Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
