Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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