Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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