Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
