i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
