Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
