Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
