What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize