I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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