GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
