Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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