hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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