It's like a parade of train wrecks.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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