dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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