i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize