Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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