If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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