Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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