What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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