Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
