apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
