my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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