I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
