I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
