he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Houston, we have a blender
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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