I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
