Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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