She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
