so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
