So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
