I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
