i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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