she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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