i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
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