how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
