Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
