dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I need water and some morals
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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