I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I need to wash the frat house off of me
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
