then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
