3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
