i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
