Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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