apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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