You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
