we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize