Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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