Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
