She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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