I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
