p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
