I just cut my nipple shaving
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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