SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
