Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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