I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize