I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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