A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
