spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
