woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
