just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
