His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
