I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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