some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
