Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
